Let go

I've learned to let go as I think I've found the truth. He said he is the worst guy. No, he isn't. But I believe that it's my fault. I made him feel that he's the worst guy. Oppa must be sad right now. He must be disappointed with himself. Weird. I feel sad for him.

good luck to you

Wish oppa good luck in his exam! must score better this time o!

Imagination

My mind is keep on imagining and planning about the whole flow.

Here it is. Right after the last paper on Thursday, I am going to call him and ask him out for a tea appointment on Friday. Preferably at the cafe selling my favorite cake where it has the best privacy. So, I am going to just talk about how he has been for these days, nothing about past, and let him go in about 15 minutes. The purpose is just to cool down the tense between us and be friends again.

So here are the possibilities that may happen and keep on interrupting my mind when studying.

A: He asks about past and want to be back. Then, I'll be super happy.

B: As my plan, nothing happens, just chatting.

C: He tells me those nasty things that hurt me, like he likes some other girls or we will never be together.

*Sigh. I really don't know what will happen on the actual day. Or maybe he just rejects all sorts of invitation. Really hope that exam ends soon.

April Fool

It's April fool tomorrow. I still remember how it started. The message is no longer in my phone, but i remembered I copied it down somewhere else. I should find it back one day. I miss him.

Helpless

I feel so helpless. Anyone can tell me what is right and what is wrong? What should I do? What should I not do?

oh no!!!

gosh, i m supposed to study now and i m keep thinking about him.

wake up, eve! go back to your reality!!!

a dream, a tea

yesterday i got a weird dream. he came to find me and ask me to be with him again. inside, i agreed but i told him that i nid some time to consider. later, my friends told me that he just broke up with his previous girlfriend, her name is yu jie. like seriously i don't know who she is, but in the dream, she is a first year student from other course. so people said that he stand of her and is still thinking of me, that's why he did so. he was busy at that time. i went to his house, and then he sent me home.

this dream is totally ridiculous. it will NEVER happened.

i feel so contra. i want to be with him and i dont want to be with him. i still got the feeling for him, and i don't want to loose him despite knowing that he might be liking some other girls, maybe a girl in his house, maybe a girl from his hometown. i feel sad inside. it is more realistic for me to not be with him. i am still thinking if he really suits me.

but i am thinking of being friend with him again. previously, i was thinking of totally ignoring him in my life. but seems like, things can be better and less awkward. i am thinking of asking him out for a tea and have a short chat after the final exam. not a date, but a tea appointment. just to talk about how well have we been these days. hope that he accept the invitation later on. i even thought of a suitable cafe for this discussion.

well, i got the feeling that we will not be in the same posting next semester, so i m so not afraid to do this because i m not going to see him that often anymore.

never ending.