Sunday, December 27, 2009

I am feeling unhealthy

Last tuesday, I just realised that my urine is frothy. So, I asked for a urine dipstick from my friend to test my own urine. It came out to be SG1.025 and Protein +1. I can feel some very minor pain at my posterior lumbar region. But I am not so sure whether it is real pain, or psychogenic pain or it is just sitting for too long.

Last thursday night, I got common cold. It started of with sneezing and sore-throat. I was angry. Maybe I was wrong, and deep in my heart, I blamed my friend for doing ridiculous thing like not wearing mask and purposely exhaling air from mouth to excrete out the germs. Totally ridiculous! It will not lighten the condition at all, in fact, it will only spread it to other people. What can I do? I can not tell just like that. It will hurt feelings. I skipped my dinner for that night and waking up like a skeleton the next day. Fever went up to 37.6C. 0.4C more and it will be high fever. No matter how cold I am or no matter how weak my appetite was, I forced myself to bath in order to cool down my body and eat a lot to gain more energy. Luckily, my fever went off now, but I still have vicious greenish phlegm. Thank, God. But my Christmas was ruined.

This morning, bowel opening occurred as usual. Surprisingly, I was having pale-stool. And it was quite greenish. What had happened to me again? Urine is normal yellow color, not dark enough to pre-diagnose anything. But it is making me worry. Something wrong with another system this time. I am totally frustrated with myself. Why am I so unhealthy?

I examined myself for pitting oedema. It isn't obvious. But I can see that the skin is recoiling back slightly slower than usual, though no exact pit was formed. Or again, is it psychogenic findings?

Anyway, whether I am really sick or not, I am feeling unhealthy. Really unhealthy. Despair.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

what to do

luckily the name list changed. it saved me from lots of troubles as i don't have to think what to do just to let him happy. i am free from the two tiny eyes.
anyway, his birthday will be coming soon. i think i have already decide not to go to his party. but i m still wondering whether i should send him a simple electronic text wish. shall i? shan't i? i have no idea. i am worried if i send him the msg, he'll think that i want to get back to him. he always thinks too much. but after all, i hope that we can still be friends, anyway, we are still coursemates. i'll just wait and decide later.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

loyal?

i will spending more time together with oppa for the coming months. i wonder if it is good or bad. more bad, i guess. or more good? i have no idea what to do. and it hurts.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

...

still miss him. still love the little green thing. feel uncomfortable when it is not around me. my birthday will not going to be a happy birthday without him.

Monday, September 28, 2009

我好烦。感觉很压力。好想哭。

Sunday, September 20, 2009

当心中住着一个人

我心中住着一个人。很牛的我,还是把他留在心中。我不烦他,不理他,不想跟他说话,只是,有时候想想他而已。我一直都认为他有很大的潜力,能够突破自我,状造他自己的那一片天。所以,这一段时间,就是最好的时机,让他好好的充实自己,我尊重他。有朋友告诉我,叫我别再等了,等也没用。但是,我说啊,反正我也不想开始另一段故事,这样对谁都不公平。一,是我想专心求上。二,我不想害人害己,明明心里有个人,却又跟另外一个人在一起,所以还是不要折上别的事情好了,省得麻烦。看到他能成功,是我打从心里的愿望。看他成为杰出,出色,充满信心,德高望重,我满足。所以,我真的希望他能进步,不必别人再提醒他了。希望他的朋友们能从旁的协助他,减少他的困难。加油!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

别再傻下去了啦。
我都没在理你。
Jangan perasan yer~~~