I keep on dreaming about him

yesterday, i dream that we were in the same class and is having a discussion, with a friend sitting between us. the teacher pointed the same question to both of us, "what is your opinion towards the opposite sex?". he replied, "she is angry of me" and closed his face with his hands. then, he passed something to the friend between us, which as if it was supposed to be passed to me.

just now, while taking a nap, i dream of us about. we were in my room together with some friends, chatting and chamworing like normal. In the dream, i found out that he actually replied my posts in facebook but i did not realised.

dreams are just dreams. it is just illusions and not of it is real.

in the reality, we never talk, we never see each other. True that I am angry with him, true that I feel like being fooled by him, true that I still miss him. Perhaps, that's the reason I dream of him in that way.

these days, i found that he got several bad characteristics. i am sorry that he looks fat with that hair, i am sorry that i hate his hair colour that makes him ugly, i am sorry to say that he is using words inappropriately to the others, i am sorry to say that i am improving but i see none in him. he does not impress me at all. but paradoxically, i miss him. i am brave enough to use the word that i love him. because when you like someone, you laugh with him. but when you love someone, you are willing to cry for him.

it seems like there is no return at all. i feel so, i think so.

i struggled a lot for these few days, for that i found that he might fall in love with another friend of mine. I feel stupid for that i feel betrayed. I am stupid enough to do the card all by myself, pass it to her and she told him that it was him who do it. He must have not thought that it was actually me. feel so betrayed. feel so stupid.