It's a pause

Shocking. Oppa told me that he suggested if we become normal friends.

First thing came to my mind, shocked. What makes him think so? From all this while, I think everything is alright but he said that he's not.

Second thing came to my mind, does he really take me as his girlfriend? He never declare or ask me officially about this. Why is he thinking about all these responsibilities when he actually don't have to?

Third thing came to my mind, I asked him why. He said he doesn't feel like the him before, he loses his focus, he spent less time with his gang, he felt confused, tired, and he's not ready for the relationship and he needs time to prepare himself, to improve himself and temporarily he needs to be alone. Oppa, I hope that your decision is not after long and clear consideration. I know that you are busy these days. Just be yourself. Don't worry, oppa. From all this while, you always asked me not to think too much, but actually oppa, you are the one. Oppa, I really hope that you could get someone you trust, spill out everything and share your feelings to. Don't keep everything inside, one day you will burst out. You said that you feel that you can't take care of yourself and you doubt your ability of taking care of the others. Oppa, you don't have to take care of me. I am not a kid, I can take care of myself. Before I know you, I live as usual, isn't it? If you think you need someone who can care for you, oppa, I'll like to let you know that I always care about you. I always worried about you because I care bout you. Maybe I did not voice it out, but I do care about you. Can't you feel it?

Fourth thing came to my mind, I wanted to tell him that he's the best guy ever! Oppa, everything I see in you is positive. You are not the worst guy, but the best! Do not let an event that occur in your life to defeat you. Be confident and be strong. You need to believe in yourself.

Fifth thing came to my mind, I am so sad. Now I understand the feeling of being dumped. I cried in the phone because I don't feel like hiding it from him. Like I said before, I don't wish to pretend in front of you anymore.

Sixth thing came to my mind, I wanted to let you know, whenever you are ready, you can always come back to me. I am always ready. I already get myself well-prepared and I will not change, unless you change. I will always be there for you.

I know that I might sound a little bit stubborn. Believe me, I can cope up with everything. We should help each other, isn't it?

Now, oppa. Get your jobs done, then take a good rest, relax your mind, and go on with your life. Your parents and everyone around you are proud of you, so do I.
Gambateh, oppa. I am not blaming you, maybe I am just too stubborn. But at least, I want to let you know again that, things can be reversible. :)